The Librarian of Souls: A Sins of The Flesh Novel (Boogeyman Monster Romance) by Ash Raven

Author:Ash Raven [Raven, Ash]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Independent
Published: 2023-05-10T16:00:00+00:00

13

Joanna

I am going stir-crazy. Or maybe just regular crazy.

I can remember exactly when I last had time off work. It was when I spent the week at the seaside. That was three years ago. Since then, I have spent every day, including weekends and holidays, trying to stay on top of work. I haven’t taken a sick day or a day of leave for anything. My life has revolved around my job because I am not sure who I would be without it.

Now, I am not sure who I am.

After spending Wednesday afternoon curled up on Augustine’s lap, allowing him to direct me, to move me, I know I’m not scared of being his. Even when we both remained clothed, he proved he would possess me just like he said, just like I wanted. He doesn’t scare me. Seeing the monster that lurks under beds and hides in the dark corners of my dreams made me alive. Finding out there are other beings existing on Earth is radical and freeing more than terrifying. It opens up a whole new world of chances that I can take. And having Augustine as my hot professor just makes it better.

I spent Thursday thinking and writing and processing some more. I had made the decision that living is certainly what I want. After everything that happened that night, I know it wasn’t some freak incident. Someone is sending me a message, but I have no idea why. Early in the mornings, when I return from my late-night rendezvous at the library, I feel like someone is watching me. There’s a tension in my neck I have never felt before and it makes me move faster until my feet are pounding up the stairs to my door and I’m sweating.

Nothing about my past, my moms, or my previous foster parents explains why any of it happened to me. I have done nothing but work and go to the library for months. Whoever sent the message made sure I got it loud and clear, except I’m not going to respond.

Something in me has sparked to life.

The Joanna Cole, who was a doormat, milquetoast with a glass of water and a Tuesday lunch of salad, is done for. No amount of placating or being easy to be around had saved me from that beating. The old Joanna Cole can’t rule my life any more. She can’t be in the driver’s seat any more. Being safe has done nothing but work me to the bone and make me feel like shit. It’s a lie I told myself over and over again. Augustine asked for honesty, so I am going to give it to him, and to myself.

She needed to die, and I guess a near-death experience is all it took to bring me back to life.

Augustine makes me feel alive too. He has brought out a side of me in my dreams that I have kept hidden for years, from everyone, simply by listening. The side of me that is loud and laughs and takes up space is alive in my dreams.

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